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Love in a hurry
You have eight minutes to make an impression on someone who could be the love of your life. Think fast.
By Mike Morris
Sun Staff
Originally published January 12, 2003

Anxiety is written across their faces, yet these singles are doing their best not to let it show. An attractive blond discreetly fixes her makeup near the bar, while a shy businessman self-consciously nurses his beer. At least two people, the couple curled up on the leather sofa, seem to be hitting it off.

They've each paid the $28.88 registration fee, put on their nametags and discreetly checked out the crowd. All that's left to do is wait.

"It's time to try something new," says Debbie Caler, 28, a marketing coordinator from Columbia.

So far, though, Baltimore's first 8-MinuteDating event resembles something old: a junior high school dance. The 14 guys are bonding on one side of the room; the 14 women are giggling in the opposite corner.

But then the silver bell sounds, and everyone frantically dashes toward a randomly assigned partner of the opposite sex.

The musical-chair-style quest for love has begun.

The couples settle in at candlelight tables for two throughout McFadden's Restaurant and Saloon in Power Plant Live. After predictably awkward introductions, usually accompanied by the question "How did you hear about this?" the pairs quiz each other on their interests, beliefs and ambitions.

From one table to another, the conversations, which last eight minutes each, switch gears from pets ("My cat bites me in my sleep") to sports ("I'm a big Steelers fan") to music ("Frank Sinatra is the best") all while the singles make mental notes, hoping for that possible love connection.

Two down and six to go for Caler. Eight minutes, she's learned, can feel like an eternity when you're talking to one guy, yet it seems like a barely a second when you're sitting across from another. "It's fun, definitely better than I expected," she says, adding that her expectations for the evening were low.

After each date, these singles, who are in the 28-to-38-age range, shake hands, tactfully rate their designated mate on a scorecard, and move on. In 90 minutes, everyone will have completed eight eight-minute "dates," with one 20-minute intermission.

On the back of each scorecard is a list of suggested icebreakers, ranging from "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" to "What's the best trip you've ever taken?" Inside the sheet is a space for personal reminders.

Dana Shanholtz, a 34-year-old White Marsh resident, jots down: "Sam 607, Doctor/Canton. Matt 608, Teacher/Towson. Brian 601, No Way/Bad Attitude."

The traditional rulebook for courting another has been drastically rewritten, compliments of 8-MinuteDating and many similar assembly-line dating companies: singles' last names have been assigned random numbers, and asking someone out on a date or for a phone number is considered taboo.

"My girlfriend and I were both having nightmares about coming here tonight," says Caler. "It's not as horrendous as I thought it could have been."

Diana Ryan, a 29-year-old accountant from Canton, was also having nightmares about the evening - although one of hers came true.

Ryan's goal for the evening was modest: She just wanted to get through the night without seeing anyone she knew. All was going well for the first hour. Then came date number seven.

She instantly recognized Dave Kozak as an old friend. The pair hadn't seen each other since they attended a Preakness party together last spring.

Ryan's face grew red with embarrassment.

"Oh my God! Don't tell anyone you saw me here," she screamed.

"I'm telling everyone. There's nothing to be embarrassed about," said Kozak, 35, who lives in White Marsh.

In an effort to eliminate the pressure of asking another out, or being asked out, singles log onto the company's Web site within 36 hours of attending an event, select the people they want to meet again, and specify whether the interest is for dating, friendship or business. When two people choose each other for the same category, the company then e-mails contact information to both parties. At that point, it's up to the two to set up a date.

Lori Hill, Baltimore's 8-MinuteDating event organizer, met her boyfriend in September after being paired up with him at an 8-MinuteDating session in Washington. She said the company provides its participants with a refreshing alternative to jump-start a relationship.

"Once you're in your 30s, you get tired of the bar scene," says Hill, 36. "You can spend a lot of money in one night trying to look pretty or handsome, and hoping someone will pick you up, which is never guaranteed. With 8-MinuteDating, everyone is there for the same reason - to meet someone."

Romantic sparks ignited between 14 singles at the 8-MinuteDating event, according to results from the company. No business associates were made, although 12 found potential new friends.

Some, however, weren't as fortunate.

"I got stuck with all the dweebs," Shanholtz says while tearing up her nametag, which reads "Dana 708," and throwing it in an ashtray on the bar.

Ryan looks back on the evening with laughter, joking that she, like many of the other singles, needed a few drinks to loosen up.

"My first thought upon arriving was everyone seemed much more attractive and much more normal than I had thought they would have been," says Ryan, who is petite with long, curly blond hair.

She didn't meet anyone she was interested in dating and never even bothered to log on to the company's Web site afterward.

But she hasn't given up on love - or the idea of the perfect 8-minute date.

"Everyone thought it was awkward," she says. "But I'd still do it again."


Minutes vary, but purpose is the same

Singles in a hurry to meet Mr. or Ms. Right are taking dating to a new fast-paced level.

In recent years, companies with names like Brief Encounters and 8-MinuteDating have sprung up around the country. The concept of singles cramming many short "dates" into one evening began in 1999 when a Los Angeles rabbi founded SpeedDating to help promote marriages within the Jewish faith.

This approach - which generally costs about $30 an event and involves fix-ups that can last as little as 6 minutes - is now available through several companies, catering to singles of all ages and demographics.

8-MinuteDating, one of the biggest of the bunch, boasts active programs in 30 states and 3 countries with about 20,000 total participants covering events for a wide variety of ages, religions, ethnicities and sexual orientations.

The lack of venues in which older singles can mingle and meet potential dates is what drove Rene Fisher, 55, and her girlfriend, 54-year-old Susan Cohen, to start Brief Encounters two years ago. Brief Encounters is similar to 8-MinuteDating, except singles get 2 fewer minutes to chit-chat.

"The purpose of the 6 minutes is simply to allow you to make a decision on whether or not you want to give this person 6 more minutes of your time," Fisher said.

She attributes a societal change to the rapid growth of her company, which serves Maryland, Washington D.C. and northern Virginia.

"Our pace of life is accelerating. People are more focused on their jobs. They don't have the time and energy left to casually meet others," says Fisher. "People turn to these dating services because they are so efficient. It's almost like a sad commentary on our lives, but that's our reality."

Fisher said she was inspired to create Brief Encounters after learning about SpeedDating.

Larry Soltz, a SpeedDating coordinator for the Baltimore region, has organized about one event per month for the last several years. Jewish singles converse with seven singles for seven minutes each. He says these meetings, held in local restaurants and cafes, have produced five engagements.

A major difference between SpeedDating and its counterparts is that the company requires singles with a mutual match to go on an actual date or they cannot attend another SpeedDating session.

"The idea is to stimulate marriage between two Jewish people. When you go to a SpeedDating event, you know right up front that you're looking to get married," Soltz said. "I want to see young people happy, raising a family and living a good life."

- Mike Morris

Below are forthcoming dating events for single professionals with three companies in the Baltimore area.

Brief Encounters:

Jan. 14, Mrs. K's Toll House, 9201 Colesville Road, Silver Spring, ages 30-42, $35

Jan. 19, Bill Bateman's Bistro at Power Plant Live, 30 Market Place, ages 40-52, $30

Jan. 21, Hamburger Hamlet, 10400 Old Georgetown Road, Bethesda, ages 35-45, $35

Jan. 28, 94th Aero Squadron Restaurant, 5240 Paint Branch Parkway, College Park, ages 24-35, $30

For more information, call Rene Fisher at 703-587-8584 or see www.briefencountersusa.com.

8-MinuteDating:

Jan. 13, Speakeasy Saloon and Dining House, 2840 O'Donnell St., Canton, ages 35-45, $28.88 ($5 more if registered within five days of event)

Jan. 21, Austin Grill at the Can Company, 2400 Boston St., Canton, ages 28-38, $28.88 ($5 more if registered within five days of event)

For more information, call Lori Hill at 301-502-1366 or see www.8minutedating.com.

SpeedDating:

Jan. 19, Park Heights area, Jewish singles ages 25-35, $30. For more information, call Larry Soltz at 410-358-0555 or see www.speeddating.com.

Copyright © 2003, The Baltimore Sun


Also see
 

Photos
Dating session at Power Plant Live
Dating session at Power Plant Live (Sun photo by Elizabeth Malby)
Jan 12, 2003

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