By Jessica
Bloch, Of the NEWS Staff e-mail Jessica Last
updated: Saturday, July 17, 2004
Speed dating rushes singles past
romance
Would they notice my slightly chipped nail polish? Did
I miss anything in the rushed ironing job I did on my skirt? Did I
have anything in my teeth? Why was I so nervous for my first
experience with 8minuteDating?
After all, I knew what it was all about and ever since I
spent an evening at the Sea Dog in Bangor watching how 8minuteDating
worked, I've been determined to try it.
8minuteDating, for those of you who haven't gotten a flier on
your car at the mall or seen a placard around town or heard anything
on the radio, is just what it sounds like. Participants have eight
8-minute conversations - each conversation is a "date" - with eight
different people in one night. After the event you head home and
with the help of 8minutedating.com, you eventually make matches for
business, friendship or dating.
This kind of thing has caught on in many urban areas of the
country but first came to Bangor late last fall. I was a silent
observer at the Sea Dog and my schedule finally worked itself out so
that I could actually participate in one a few weeks ago. I was off
to Brewer.
I have to admit, I wasn't really there to meet anybody. I
approached it as work. Plus, I had a date of my own later that night
in Orono. Still, I had some butterflies as I took the elevator up to
the Muddy Rudder's banquet room for my first speed-dating
experience.
Most of the group seemed nervous that evening, too. At first
things were like a high school dance - girls gathered around one
table and boys sitting at another. But 8minuteDating is all about
conversation so the segregation ended quickly.
Robin Stover, the local event organizer, instructed the women
to sit one per table. The men did all the work, rotating around the
room until they had had a "date" with all the women. There was one
extra woman, so everyone missed out on meeting one of the
participants.
I had eight "dates" that night and I'm happy to report that I
found great things about all eight guys ... with some minor quirks.
Like the first "date" I sat through. This fellow had traveled
a considerable distance to participate. First off, he told me he
didn't mind a few extra inches of height on a woman. That's cool, I
thought, since I'm about 5-foot-11 and sometimes feel like men are
intimidated by tall women.
And, he added, he didn't mind a few extra pounds.
Whoa, buddy. Not what you want to say on a date. But he was
nice enough, and things got even better.
The guys were almost all good-looking and personable. They
seemed to have solid jobs running their own businesses or working
for the state. From what I could judge of the women based on some
chitchat before the event started, they seemed intelligent and
personable in addition to being physically attractive. It was a fun
mix of people and I marveled at the quality of the men and women at
the event.
The toughest part of the evening (aside from having to
explain eight times that I was Table Five even though I was Date
Four and there was no Table Five and yes I knew that and yes you're
in the right place) was having almost the same conversation eight
times.
By the end of the night I felt like some kind of robot, or a
grade-schooler reciting multiplication tables: No, I am not from
Maine. I went to college in New York. I moved here seven years ago.
I love my job. I am not a Red Sox fan. Over and over. We were
encouraged to take notes after each date to remind ourselves what we
had talked about, and even my notes for each guy are very similar.
Not that I was expecting to tell any of these guys my hopes
and dreams after an 8-minute conversation, but it seemed pretty
shallow after a while. Looking back, however, it was just as a first
date should be - just getting to know each other in a pressure-free
atmosphere.
The actual event is only the first part of the experience,
however. The rest happens on your computer.
When you go home after the event, you log on to the
8minuteDating Web site and fill in the people with whom you want
friendship, a second date or a business relationship. Just for fun,
I told the computer I wanted a date with all eight guys I talked to
- and I got three matches. Three of eight, not too bad. And the best
part is there's no embarrassing rejection because you don't ask the
person for a second date face-to-face. The one guy I thought might
pick me as a second-date match didn't, and that's just fine. I'm a
bit young for what he was looking for anyway.
Robin told us we could stay and mingle after the dates to get
to know each other better or meet the one person with whom we didn't
have a "date." I did see him, and he looked like a nice, attractive
guy.
I have to confess, I bolted after my last date (and after I
didn't win the prize drawing for dinner at the Muddy Rudder). I met
eight great guys that night, most of whom I would consider for a
second date. But in the end I just wanted to get to the great guy
waiting for me up in Orono.
Jessica Bloch can be reached at 990-8193 and
jbloch@bangordailynews.net.
