In an unwieldy world of 12-hour workdays and battles with
rush-hour traffic, who has the time to meet new people, let alone
date?
The widespread desire by singles to enlarge the dating pool has
led to the latest phenomenon in modern romance: speed dating.
With names like HurryDate, ExpeDate and Rapid Dating, such
services allow singles to meet eight to 25 potential squeezes in a
regimented yet festive evening. Participants sign up online for a
round-robin system of three- to 10-minute meetings -- generously
termed ``dates'' by organizers -- for $20 to $35 per event.
But do these services really work? As I signed up for an
8MinuteDating event at http://www.8minutedating.com/
earlier this month, I asked myself if I was being reduced to a first
impression with a name tag. I later learned that it's name and
number, as organizers printed ``Mark 211'' on my personalized
adhesive.
``Speed dating gives people an alternative,'' explains Sue Deyo,
a Stanford graduate who, with her husband Rabbi Yaacov Deyo, wrote
``SpeedDating: A Timesaving Guide to Finding Your Lifelong Love''
(Quill, $10.95). ``You have a personal, face-to-face conversation.
Nowadays, you sometimes need a sledgehammer to break the ice.''
Started in Los Angeles in 1999 by Rabbi Deyo and his students,
SpeedDating claims that 50 percent of its singles find a match. The
service, which signed up 7,000 Jewish singles in 14 cities in 2002,
established a template for more recently established services
appealing to a broader audience.
8MinuteDating, which is not religiously affiliated, boasts a 60
percent success rate and has attracted more than 65,000 customers in
60 cities since it was founded by former Microsoft product manager
Tom Jaffee in 2001.
Besides organizing evenings based on the age of participants,
companies such as 8MinuteDating also have singles events geared
toward ethnicity, sexual orientation, special interests and even
height.
The event I attended with 26 others at Julie's Supper Club in San
Francisco wasn't the painful, superficial experience I had feared.
The mix of participants in their 30s at the hipster nightclub ranged
from entrepreneurial to unemployed, from natty to frumpy, from
enthused to understated. They came from Santa Clara, San Jose,
Oakland, Foster City and San Francisco, all with the goal of seeing
if this was an effective way to cast the dating net a little
wider.
We were handed the equivalent of a dance card, listing our
assigned seating for eight rounds. When the bell sounded the end of
each encounter, we wrote the date's name, whether she (or he) was
courteous and whether we wanted to contact that person for dating,
friendship or business. A matchup occurs when an individual you're
interested in meeting indicates a mutual interest. The event also
included an intermission for ambitious minglers who spotted someone
in the room they hadn't formally met.
Alas, I learned by e-mail that I didn't match up with the two
women I chose to date for real, but everyone I spoke to was pleasant
and the whole experience was less awkward than approaching a
stranger in a Learning Annex class.