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Table for eight ... minutes
The latest trend among
singles is 'speed dating'
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| Pamela McLoughlin,
Register Staff |
September
29, 2002 |
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Anita and Eric, two singles looking for a love
connection, get to know each other during an eight-minute
blind date at The Gathering restaurant in Milford. Chris
Volpe/Register
| MILFORD
"Mar 505" is on a first blind date with "Eric 902," so naturally,
they start talking about each other's interests.
Eric, a
50-year-old salesman tells Mar, also 50, that that he likes
kayaking, canoeing and camping. She tells him she loves horseback
riding and flying kites. |
"I have a kite in my car," Eric responds with a lilt in his
voice because of the common ground.
Mar responds: "I have a
saddle in my trunk."
But instead of saddling up or galloping
on the beach, the two get up at the sound of a bell and meet another
date at another table.
By the end of the night, they and a
group of about 25 other singles will have gone on eight,
eight-minute dates to become part of a new concept that puts dating
right up there with fiberoptic cable, instant messaging and the
three minute egg.
"I think it was fabulous everyone had a
terrific time," said event organizer Tracey Hydeck.
Eight
minute dating has been big in places like Boston, New York and
California for a couple of years, but is just making its way to
Connecticut.
Hydeck, an area organizer, recently brought the
first area events to Knickerbocker's and the Gathering
restaurants.
THE RULES
Here's how it works: An
"event" is booked at a local bar or coffee shop by Hydeck and people
looking for a date sign up at http://erlang.voxel.net/.
They pay $33.88 or $28.88 with a $5 coupon and on the big night,
an equal number of men and woman in the same general age group
meet.
At the door, Hydeck gives them a score card of sorts
and tags bearing their first name and a number. They aren't allowed
to exchange last names or phone numbers.
Hydeck begins by
telling them the rules: As participants go from date to date, they
use the card to keep notes about each date and check off a box if
they are interested in contacting that person for another date,
friendship or business.
"This is pretty painless by the time
you get through the third or fourth date," she tells
them.
After the event, daters go home and log their choices
into a computer. The eight-minute dating folks find the mutual
matches and e-mail those folks with contact information.
"I
feel like I have nothing to lose," said Angela 709, a 36-year-old
medical assistant. "I have a great life and I just want someone to
share it."
Angela, who recently returned to the dating scene
after raising a daughter by herself, didn't get a match at
Knickerbocker's, but had lots of fun and will try again at an event
taking place at the Playwright in New Haven Oct. 22. Best of all,
Angela said, she also met other single women to do the dating scene
with.
"The quality of the men wasn't bad," she said.
CHEMISTRY LESSON
The eight-minute daters who
came from as far away as Danbury and Hartford said they are tired
of bars, dances, the internet, sporting events and long blind dates
that seem like an eternity when they don't work out.
"It's
hard to meet people if you don't meet people at work and you're not
in the bar scene," said Mike 100, an assistant produce manager who's
pressed for time to meet women because his son, 13, visits often on
weekends. "I find going on line very time-consuming and not that
fruitful."
Joanne 704, a law student and business owner, said
she's always looking for men because she just loves to
date.
"My longest on-line (relationship) was only a couple of
months," she said. "The problem is that it's hard on-line to get the
physical attraction."
Robi 703, said the eight-minute
technique is like the "duck, duck goose," of dating, but she liked
it and would do it again because it was so much fun.
That
night at Knickerbocker's, she picked Frank 101 for friendship, but
he wanted more and checked off all three relationship
categories.
It was easy to predict Frank's choice when they
had "their date."
About four minutes into it, Frank made his
feelings known: "This is worth it already you look beautiful, very
good," Frank said, sizing her up.
Frank, who said he was
"high level auto mechanic," told Robi he is 41.
"I know I
don't look it it must be all the money I invested in vitamins," he
added
In contrast, Frank 101, showed an instant lack of
chemistry on his fourth date and she wasn't exactly on fire
either.
"Have you been meeting some nice guys?" he asks her
30 seconds into the date.
When she responds, "Yes," he comes
back with a patronizing, "That's wonderful."
Three weeks
later, Frank, his bottle of Smirnoff Ice, and his vivid descriptions
of his ex-wife were back at the Gathering event, but this time he
was Frank 905.
TRY AGAIN
When you get as lucky
Steve 305, things can get stressful.
He tried eight-minute
dating on the advice of friends in Boston who said it "takes the
pressure off."
Steve got three matches and on his first
full-night dinner date with a pick he really likes, found himself
explaining why he needed to test the others too.
"I think she
was the number one pick," he said.
Most of the icebreaking
questions are typical: family situation, profession, likes,
dislikes. Some conversations hardly get off the ground and others
turn philosophical or intellectual in only eight
minutes.
"Eight minutes isn't long enough," Larry 908 said,
after his date with Susan 501, a money manager with two sons who
broke the rules and told someone that she thought he was cute,
too.
Some have become veterans.
Barry 904 said the
Gathering event was his third shot at eight-minute
dating.
"I'm shy," he said. "This is better than going to a
dance where you don't connect." Barry said the first time around he
got confused, didn't take notes and picked women who were "too
young."
The second time around, he got six matches and dated
everyone of them but apparently didn't meet Ms. Right.
The
age range at the Gathering event was 40-50, although some pushed it
a little past.
Sallie 900, age 54, was apparently there for
an education.
"I'm doing it just as a learning experience,"
she said. "Everything is based on chemistry."
JoAnn 509, a
hairdresser from Bridgeport, was hopeful going in.
"I stopped
into the salon and told them where I was going tonight and they
(co-workers) laughed, but then a doctor in the chair said, 'Don't
laugh, my brother met his fiancee that way,' " JoAnn
said.
But she sees a more systemic problem in the dating
scene.
"When you reach a certain age, there are too many
women," she said.
JoAnn, who once paid $600 for a hot guy at
a charity auction and got six dates out of it told Eric on their
date that she'd try anything except skydiving.
Her dating
conversation with Eric was a little bumpier, however, than Mar's
dating conversation.
Perhaps it is because he started the
conversation by pointing to his knick-name "Hatchet" on his name tag
and explaining, "It's just a joke."
Pamela McLoughlin can be reached at mailto:pmcloughlin@nhregister.comor
876-6800.
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| ©New Haven
Register 2002 |
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